Wonder
by Luna Moonsurf
Summary: Marta had always wondered about Zelos. — One-sided Zelloyd


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

Don't worry, what a 'brofriend' is will be explained at the bottom; just enjoy for now.

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><p>Marta had always wondered about Zelos.<p>

How he had not doubted for a second that Lloyd was completely innocent of all charges Emil had brought against him, stanchly defending him despite having no doubt already heard the rumors himself. He had instantly seen through Decus's disguise even without that cologne's overpowering scent and had merely waited for Emil to make the right move—Marta had seen Zelos's hand grip his shortsword in case he had needed to stop Emil should he have chosen wrong.

How he and Lloyd fought perfectly in sync, tearing down any enemy—small or large, many or one—in seconds, moving as if reading each other's minds rather than each other's movements, following up one another's attacks in an unending barrage that no foe could stand against.

Marta had always wondered about Zelos.

How he was constantly calling Lloyd 'bud' and saying that they were 'brofriends', whatever that meant. He occasionally pretended to flirt with him, every once in a while proclaiming "sorry ladies, I'm taken" with a grin as he pulled him to his side to playfully muss up his hair while the crowd of girls that followed him around giggled and Lloyd laughed.

How, for as long as Marta has known him, he would wrap his arms around Lloyd's shoulders and rest his head next to Lloyd's own at random intervals, hanging all over him as if it were completely normal.

Marta had always wondered about Zelos.

How his laugh was always a little more carefree around Lloyd.

How there was a special smile he only showed when Lloyd was near.

How, when he thought no one was watching, he looked almost sad as Lloyd laughed and smiled and played along with his jests.

Marta had always wondered about Zelos.

How he only had eyes for Lloyd—eyes that Marta could see held regret and resigned longing in their depths.

— — — — — — —

One day, Marta caught Zelos alone; ironically where they first met, Palmacosta.

"What can I do for you today, my beautiful hunny?" he asked with his usual laid-back grin.

She cut right to the chase, "Do you like Lloyd?"

Zelos's smile flickered for the smallest of seconds, "Of course I like him! I love 'im, he's my brofriend!"

Marta shook her head, "Do you like him as a friend or as a…?" she trailed off as Zelos looked away. "Are you going to tell him?" she asked after a moment.

Zelos's laugh had a wry twist to it, "He's Lloyd, he wouldn't know a love confession if it hit him in the face. He would say 'I love you' right back at me then never think any more of it. Colette, Sheena, both had tried but he never got it, and they'd known him longer than I have. They got over him eventually, but me, I…" he ran his fingers through his hair, "Besides, who'd take a confession of love from _me_ seriously? He doesn't feel the same way, so why ruin our relationship?"

"How do you know for sure?"

Zelos laughed again, this one wasn't a laugh of joy either. "Like I said, he's Lloyd. He has the inability to fall in love. Romantic love is yet another thing outside his comprehension. Like multiplication, it's something he just cannot understand. He's never needed it up 'til this point so he's never pursued it. He's not the kind of person to get why you should care more about one person in particular as opposed to treating all his friends with the same amount of affection."

Marta was silent for a moment, "So you're just going to do nothing?" she asked a slight bit incredulously, "Just suffer in silence?"

"You know, there's a reason I fell in love with somebody I could never have," Zelos smiled sadly and lightly ruffled her hair, "I guess you wouldn't understand; you got your happy ending—some of us don't deserve one."

With that, he began to walk away, giving an excuse about 'Chosen duties to attend to' before he bid her goodbye.

Marta watched him as he retreated around a corner; why does he think that he doesn't deserve a happy ending?

— — — — — — —

The second he was out of sight, Zelos fell back against the wall, sliding down to the ground as he put his head in his hand.

How had he let that happen? How had he let any of this happen?

He rested his arms on his bent knees as he looked up to stare at the sky.

He had never planned to fall in love; he had guarded his heart well, caring only for himself and his sister. He made sure that when anyone looked at him, they saw his title and nothing else.

Then Lloyd and his friends came along.

He was told to infiltrate their group, pretend to befriend them.

Too bad he ended up actually befriending them.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

The Great Zelos Wilder had vowed to protect Lloyd the Great.

It was his fate as the villain, the fallen angel who walked the depraved path of a sinner; Zelos had chosen the side of evil again and again every time he led them—the friends he had no right to—into a trap or reported on their actions. Zelos had ruthlessly taken advantage of Lloyd and his companions when they were vulnerable, taking the place of a traitor, gaining—but never actually earning—their trust to soothe the pain of betrayal, only to show them that they shouldn't believe in the good of anyone.

Even if he must suffer in silence knowing he will never love him back, Zelos will still stay by Lloyd's side to keep the one who has stolen heart without even trying safe from those who wish to do him harm.

If Lloyd had to slay a dragon, Zelos would be halfway through a Tidal Wave spell; if certain asshole higher-ups cause Lloyd to question his beliefs, Zelos would be there to make him see sense; and if a naïve, misguided kid that's actually an all-powerful demon lord as old as time itself accuses Lloyd of mass murder, well, Zelos would be there to set the record straight even if he's ignored.

Zelos will live having to pretend the love he has for Lloyd is merely an act to entertain.

Because Lloyd was everything he wished he was but wasn't.

Because Lloyd is everything Zelos will never deserve.

His old self would have never chosen such a life—his old self cared little for others. Though not even his old self deserved this fate; because, as selfish as he was back then, his old self hadn't betrayed Lloyd.

Zelos opened his eyes and tilted his head back down to stare into the middle distance in front of him as people passed him by.

Zelos thought he was a good actor when he was able to play the three different sides of the game that was the deciding of the worlds' fates with minimal suspicion.

He _knew_ he was a good actor when he was able to look Lloyd straight in the eye and smirk maliciously as he shattered every semblance of trust that Zelos had actually put forth effort to gain, instead of breaking down completely at the utterly betrayed expression on Lloyd's face.

Zelos shook his head with a wry smile as he began to push himself to his feet.

To think, a girl eight years his junior could see right through him…

But her powers of observation shouldn't come as too much of a surprise; in the back of his mind, he felt there was more to her than she let on, that she could see more than she told.

She was able to hurt her last remaining family in order to keep her father from dying needlessly; she could almost be remotely compared to Zelos, though the way she chose to do it was by doing what was right, what was honorable, as opposed to what was easy.

But through her innocence and desire to do what's right was someone who could read people perhaps better than she realized; she was a lot like Lloyd in that respect.

Zelos had always wondered about Marta.

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><p>Okay, a 'brofriend' is a bro and a bud. In normal context, it's usually means two guys who are really close and are so secure in their sexuality that they can act gay with each other in jest and not be in the least bit uncomfortable with it. Like the male equivalent of a 'galfriend'…kinda. Don't blame me; my sister was the one who made up the word.<p>

**EDIT**: The is now a sequel-ish to this called Wonder: Mirrored with Emil and Lloyd, a 'mirrored' version in a sense.


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